V$l$nt$n$’s D$y

In deciding what to do for this year’s V-day and considering how much money should be spent at a time when my wallet is looking pretty lean, I’ve come to the conclusion that wasting my resources on this particular holiday will be more valuable to me in the long run than squandering my hard earned cash on all the crap floating in front of my face that I don’t need. Essentially, I’m buying a memory. Many people wouldn’t agree with me, and their opinions may be correct when you start to consider things like delayed gratification and financial responsibility, but Valentine’s day 2008 is only going to happen once in my life, and this could be my only chance to experience it with this particular girl, so why not enjoy it? Nobody is going to look back on February 2008 and say, “Oh, I remember that month, I bought a great looking shirt at Express and a round of Tequila shots for my friends”, or, “I really saved a lot of money that month, it sure was exciting”. F that! Wouldn’t you rather say something like, “Man oh man, on Valentines day 2008 I took one fine lady out on the town, she sure loved me. Wow! what a firecracker” – I would; and if that doesn’t sound appealing to you, push pause, quiet your mind, get a lighter, then reach way deep down inside yourself and relight the passion you somehow managed to extinguish with your super analytical personality and lack of imagination.

The Real Thing

Uh oh, I’ve officially set one of my goals in motion by buying a domain, downloading WordPress, and starting a real Web site.  Unfortunately, I have nooo idea how to edit the theme, which, due to my perfectionist tendencies, makes the blog useless to me until I learn the basics of CSS.  The other super crappy thing about the site is that thelastsunday.com was taken, thus quashing my lofty dreams of taking this blog to the next level and focusing it like a laser on a real topic.  Of course I can do the exact same thing with the new name, but I was getting pretty cozy with The Last Sunday.  I wont reveal the name yet, but it has absolutely nothing to do with my planned topic for the site, which will not be revealed via this post either – a good thing since it will probably completely change by the time I’m good enough with CSS to start writing.  For now, my user friendly .wordpress.com site will have to do.  

Don’t blow it

I did it. That post graduation train is finally in motion, so world, get ready.  This internship is nothing spectacular, but experiencing the marketing world with one of the most important companies in general aviation today must have some benefits, the best being that I can experience something new without having to jump into the career world with no concrete ideas about what I want.  So far, I have turned down interviews with or been rejected by, Abercrombie and Fitch Manager in Training program, Target Executive in Training program, Chicago Office Technology Group, Edward Jones, Eli Lilly and Co., Stryker Instruments, and Aflac, not to mention the multitude of companies that simply never called.  What I saw in those companies escapes me; it must have been the idea of actually having some money for once in my life.  Now that the post graduation wave has passed and the waters are calm, I’m astonished at some of the jobs my friends have gone into.  Maybe I’m just picky, but a job is not a job, one must have standards.

 

My advice to anyone graduating from college that is still unsure of the direction in which they wish to take their lives is to take some time and think about it.  What’s the rush anyway?  Get some goals, find out what you like, experience something.  Your life has been encompassed in a 4 square mile world for the past four years that is absolutely nothing like the real world.  Sure, there are plenty of ideas and lofty plans floating around college campuses, and even some real people giving speeches about what the real world is like, but it’s not real.  College life is soooooooo far from the real world that plenty of grads have a hard time adjusting to work life.  When you’re young, be young, go somewhere, do something, save some money and go do anything you want to do while you still can.  You’ll probably find some things out about yourself in the process that could change everything.  What if there is something out there that completely trumps everything you want for yourself at this moment?  Imagine looking back on your life as it is today after knowing that new and amazing thing you have not yet discovered about yourself and thinking, “Wow, I can’t believe I was about to do that with my life!”.  It has happened to me, and I’ve barely left town.

Apparently, my natural rhythm inspires me to write something every 10-15 days.  I think about it for days, open the blog a few times, but only write occasionally.  I wish this was something I did more of, using creative energy seems to lift my mood and hop up my thoughts a bit.  The biggest problem is deciding what to write about.  My usual strategy is to sit here, start writing and see where it goes; which is the format all of my posts seem rigidly follow.  But how do real bloggers decide what to write about?  How do those champions of WordPress write daily entries about a consistent topic, void of the personal mumbo jumbo that makes this blog a sensitive half diary?  Maybe I should start every post with “Dear Journal”.  Ugh! The thought of that makes me cringe.  My theory is that these bloggers are skilled at focusing and thinking about something for a prolonged period of time.  An inspiring idea for the next coffee shop stool scuffing post pops into their head and they can go with it for the rest of the day, organizing their thoughts and contemplating the different directions they could go with the post.  I on the other hand can’t think about one thing for any meaningful period of time unless it is affecting my life.  Work, girlfriend, school, survival – no problem, but those aren’t the stuff of a good blog post.  What about news, politics, life, and humor?  How do you marathon bloggers keep those things on your minds?  F this, I need to go try to think about something real.

NYE = sappy reflection

            NYE inspired me, as it does everyone, to set aside a moment and think about my life.  It wasn’t a long or especially profound moment, but it was enough to open my eyes to the ability to change anything in my life that needs changing.  This isn’t something new to me, in fact, I’m quite adamant about peoples’ unique ability to change their circumstances, but this was the first time I actually took a look and decided what I need to work on.  It’s a shame more people aren’t ready and willing to believe in themselves and take a stand against the thing that most troubles their existence.  It is my opinion that the key to change lies in modifying your thoughts and habits.  One must believe in the goal they are working toward and alter their behavior to achieve that goal.  Thoughts and actions that do not advance you in the direction of the goal should be avoided.  Because my mind runs 30 miles per second, I often have to simplify my thoughts and focus, which is an important part of attaining your aspirations.  If you tend to try to concentrate on a number of things at once, or a multitude of mini goals, stop.  Trying to work toward that many things is fruitless and a big time waster.  Instead, write down your goals, read and reread them, and clear your head when you are working on that behavior.  When you are trying to accomplish too many things at once, remove or consolidate those things into one goal, something on which you can focus your attention more effectively.

            I wrote my goals down for the fist time this year, which seems to be a common recommendation in most motivational literature.  If I continue to read these goals, periodically update the steps I can take to achieve them and focus on changing my habits, success is mine.  Here are a couple examples of what I wrote:

 1. Find a sales/ marketing job in Chicago

2. 155 lbs by April

3. Improve relationships

 From there, I followed with specific example of what I am going to do to accomplish each item and will change or update those specifics in the future.  Having the specific steps to accomplish a goal is something I highly recommend.  If you actually think out what you are doing instead of naming some broad objective, you are much more likely to succeed.  Good luck with your new years resolutions.

 

 

So thats it…

    So that’s it?  I’m done with college.  It was such a strange feeling walking out of that building for the last time.  I walked slowly and was sure to pay attention to everything.  Why am I so nostalgic? Despite my best efforts, the reality of the situation is that I was walking down an empty dirty hallway behind a janitor on a crappy winter day, oh! the drama I construct in my mind. The majority of my memories of that particular building, the business college, relate to my wonderful girlfriend, which is probably the reason for my heightened sense of nostalgia.  The worst part about the whole thing – no music, no hug, no congratulations, no closing credits, and I didn’t click my heels while jumping off a flight of stairs.  I wasn’t even the hero of anything.  Over the past five and a half years (too long, I know) this place has changed me completely.  I am the same spark, but not the same fire, and I’m glad this end has come so discreetly.  Now, after I quietly excuse myself from this campus, I know I want the next big phase of my life to end complete with fireworks and three forks.

The best part about the end of this huge commitment is the large amount of free time that will soon tempt me to watch TV and click “Stumble!”.  In spite of these temptations, I plan to finally read the books I want to read, pick up my long lost best friend and former soul mate – my guitar, work out a little more, and own the world.

    Oh the things I’ve said when I drink too much!  Luckily, I am very close to the end of my five and a half year college career and will no longer be exposed to the kind of pressure that causes me to drink in such excess; at least not as often.  After my most recent slip up, I decided to reflect on the somewhat comical and often embarrassing things that spew from my uninhibited mouth on various weekend nights over the course of my life in this four mile radius college campus that makes up my world.
     The most recent, and most embarrassing by far, has to be my exceedingly un-slick L-word drop on my girlfriend of (officially) three months.  After a review of the number of X’s on the back of last night’s permanent marker slashed pub crawl T-shirt, I have concluded that the fifteen drinks made me do it.  “Do you remember what you said to me last night?” was her question this morning.  “No”, I said.  “Good”, was her answer.  Of course, like any semi-insecure guy, I played the “tell me what I said” game, but I knew, and boy did I wish I didn’t.

 Now, if I can manage to remember some others:

 1.  “GET THAT OUTA THERE!” – to a girl I wanted to get with that told me she was on her period.

2. “I CAN GET ANY GIRL I WANT!” – very loudly in the middle of a party after hitting on some guys gf and almost getting knocked around.  I followed this one up by calling my hefty female friend a “fat bitch”.

3.  “I have an idea! How about you make out with him and I make out with you, then we switch!” – this actually worked.

4.  These are too hard to remember.  Especially when you have to hear about them second hand the next day.

Life Antenna

Sometimes, when I’m feeling a little more in awe of the majesty of life than usual, I do something a little strange. I guess it’s a little dramatic, but it makes me feel alive and, in my opinion, is a way to absorb the energy and beauty of the moment. I stand, feet together, with my arms outstretched on both sides of my body and usually look up, then breath deeply and try to feel the energy of all the spectacular moments of my life up to that point in time. It’s like an antenna, a life antenna, and for me it’s very empowering. Maybe I reflect a little too dramatically on life, and this move is proof, but there are so many fantastic things to pay attention to. Take a step outside yourself, grab the time line you are continuously traveling along and smash it into one little ball of existence with nothing in front of it and nothing behind it. It’s like remembering the present. This physical manifestation of strong emotion is more common than people realize. Maybe most people don’t do it as often as I do, but they should. It just feels right.

Tellmeaboutyourevil

            I have a phone screening. It’s going to be amazingly stereotypical and I can’t wait for the creepy personality based questions.  I’m also excited to get the job, which is going to happen due to my enjoyment of the creepy personality based questions that somehow reveal my deepest darkest secrets.  Maybe office telephones have special sensors that list the personality traits of the interviewee as they speak.  I can see my list being formed now: mean spirited, arrogant, drinker, jealous, disorganized, anti-social; all the wonderful things that make me the pleasant young scholar that I am (although I don’t really know how to use a semi-colon).  Luckily, I’ve spent my time wisely and thoroughly researched the company, the job, and plenty of interview tips, which can get pretty tricky.  The key to any interview is the performance, and, thanks to the showman in me, I tend to treat interviews as such.  Theater was surely the best part of my high school experience, and, now that this delightful pastime has rid itself of me, I long for the chance to show off, which interviewing allows me to do.  I become the man that I will, for confidence purposes, refer to from this point on in life as The J, my suit is a costume, and I become the number one candidate for the job.  My speech becomes an articulate combination of Bob White, Jude Law, and Barry Manilow, I fire up that 12 watt twinkle in my eye, then smile, lean forward, get that hand moving and answer every question in the same manner one might say, “Am I awesome? *snicker* It’s funny that you asked me that, really, because I happen to be awesome, let me tell you about it”.

 
Here’s a link, read it before the big day, it’s a good one:  www.tezu.ernet.in/dcompsc/alumni_inputs/HRInterviewQuestions.doc

Caffeine

            I’m going to quit caffeine.  That is the thesis of my current thought process.  Something so daunting could never be achieved without help, so, I will first educate myself on the ill side effects of caffeine, tips for quitting, and healthy alternatives.  Some may ask, “Alternatives to caffeine? Are you serious?”, Yes, I am serious.  I owe my light sleeping, lucid dream having, leg twitching sleeping patterns to caffeine – which I happen to be hypersensitive to.

    How great would it be to take nap? Pretty great in my opinion, but, in my current stimulant riddled state, there are no naps or peaceful afternoons listening to the rustling leaves outside my window as I bask in a dream filled opening in my schedule.  There is only continuous thought and busy work.  Before choosing to write this useless blog post, I was writing a poem in German, a bad one.  It was bad because I cant think because im TIRED.  I’m tired because I should sleep instead of drinking sooo much coffee.

    In a previous, very brief search into the side effects of caffeine I discovered an interesting tidbit of information: Caffeine causes one to think in a linear manner.  This means we lose our ability to think abstractly about what needs to be done, our priorities are skewed, a bit of creativity is lost and to top it all off, in case you’ve been living under a backyard log pile for your entire life, it’s also addicting.