Tellmeaboutyourevil

            I have a phone screening. It’s going to be amazingly stereotypical and I can’t wait for the creepy personality based questions.  I’m also excited to get the job, which is going to happen due to my enjoyment of the creepy personality based questions that somehow reveal my deepest darkest secrets.  Maybe office telephones have special sensors that list the personality traits of the interviewee as they speak.  I can see my list being formed now: mean spirited, arrogant, drinker, jealous, disorganized, anti-social; all the wonderful things that make me the pleasant young scholar that I am (although I don’t really know how to use a semi-colon).  Luckily, I’ve spent my time wisely and thoroughly researched the company, the job, and plenty of interview tips, which can get pretty tricky.  The key to any interview is the performance, and, thanks to the showman in me, I tend to treat interviews as such.  Theater was surely the best part of my high school experience, and, now that this delightful pastime has rid itself of me, I long for the chance to show off, which interviewing allows me to do.  I become the man that I will, for confidence purposes, refer to from this point on in life as The J, my suit is a costume, and I become the number one candidate for the job.  My speech becomes an articulate combination of Bob White, Jude Law, and Barry Manilow, I fire up that 12 watt twinkle in my eye, then smile, lean forward, get that hand moving and answer every question in the same manner one might say, “Am I awesome? *snicker* It’s funny that you asked me that, really, because I happen to be awesome, let me tell you about it”.

 
Here’s a link, read it before the big day, it’s a good one:  www.tezu.ernet.in/dcompsc/alumni_inputs/HRInterviewQuestions.doc